2012 was no friend of mine with exceptions, of course, many but I didn't see any hope for anyone. I saved a life and played with my band at The Taste of Colorado and The Hard Rock, I sold out a ton of Chris Daniel's shows, but these things carried a price tag of my own self-destructive mind and I had multiple, non-stop panick attacks and lost faith in the music business a time or two, and considered ways to make up for my past and my choices of trust and people who are not who you thought they were, and they were a part of you.
Got an iPhone 4s and a computer from the boss.
Got myself in trouble with some people who don't like me - was informed I was now in a higher social status of a person who has their own gaggle of "Haters". Still not fond of the gun laws due to scary dudes and a chick or two I let myself get sabotaged by. Actions and non actions. I had my share of them.
Looking ahead.
Focus even when you want to do anything but that. Motivation is easy if you do it by habit. Elevate this Panic Problem by keeping busy and out of trouble with generally what your mind lets itself keep telling itself to do something. Open mouth, solve problem. Wake up and listen. I resolve to totally change my life. I will blog about it daily. That has to be the ritual to rid myself of the anxiety.
Kids, it is still there amidst any medication. It is genetic. It is terrible if you were me for the past year or so.
But I have it all now - except my own wealth or steady job. But find me a boss who pays me what I'm worth - and the usual demise was the result of my termination. Then I ran out of my unemployment insurance. I mean, come on! I was depressed.
Today I got my meds and they are a bit difficult to get used to. I will be taking them like I have a 8-5 job starting Friday. Tonight may last forever. Bloody hell. But I am missing my family again, thinking about how much we may have if everyone stays healthy and sees each other more often. Seems easy except for the distance to Spain and money and babies.
After Dad's cancer amd I instinct to people's very ritualistic structure in their daily swagger through the day, casually, As long as he stays well, I will resollve to live up to the expectations / perceptions that I see in other people's eyes and expect nothing but what I ask for, and take nothing but what I need.
I will be in my LiveJournal leaning about my prior adventures.
If this feeds to my Wordpress, someone please advise.
Here's to life in the future. Welcome to 2013.
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